The Fog (2005)

A long time ago, I was going to see The Fog at the semi-local drive-in, which would have been pretty awesome, especially if it had been a foggy night. But mainly that this is exactly the kind of movie one should see at the drive-in, and the chances to do so nowadays are limited. There was a scheduling mishap, but these things happen. In any case, rest assured that I will be going at some point. I think the movie where Captain Reynolds battles the evil slugs has a high likelihood of that venue, for instance. Maybe Snakes on a Plane, too.

But, then I found it still showing in the dollar theater (dollar hot dogs too, which sounds good on paper until you realize what a hot dog that you pay a dollar for at a theater actually looks like), and got myself out there yesterday afternoon. And, wow. What a very, very entertaining movie. Mind you, the plot made barely a lick of sense, and the less said about the closing scenes, the better. For example, what kind of island can get every single window in a truck repaired in less than 24 hours, but you still can’t get off the island if there’s an evil fog rolling in against the wind nightly? We’ve got not one, but three crazy elderly doomsayers for the characters to ignore! We’ve got an evil, fully decked-out dining room table sitting in the pounding surf, for no apparent reason. (Well, obviously, but also for no apparent plot-related reason. My point here is, I want a painting of that scene because it was too awesome for words, and I completely understand why they had to leave it in.(Also, I guess it might not have been evil. But I bet!)) Unfortunately, we’ve got a miserable editing job, such that even the scene cuts that should make sense don’t. We’ve got plenty of pretty people dancing around in their underwear. Do we have flesh-eating zombies coming ashore to punish the living? We do, but not in the way you think!

Was it a good movie? Well, clearly not. I expect to discover that every single deviation from John Carpenter’s original will be the primary cause of its failure on the quality measure. But entertaining? Oh, my, yes.

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