What if a teen sex comedy, but without anything explicit (other than the language)? Actually, it a) worked pretty well and b) was surprisingly sweet. Sex Appeal tells the story of a STEM-focused high school valedictorian who is unexpectedly confronted with a concept she’s never had to consider before. (It’s, uh, a partner who is interested in a physical relationship.) So, she decides to kill two birds with one stone by creating as her entry into an upcoming competition a phone app that coaches people into having great sex.
Unfortunately, she’s an emotionless robot, and the people around her who are tasked with experimenting to get everything just right aren’t. It was funny, though probably not funny enough that I shouldn’t have watched something on Shudder instead. But I will say that at no point was it predictable, and that’s not nothing.
 The metaphors that replaced the sex scenes were the correct amount of over the top, for example. Perhaps not the “hilarious” that they were going for, but definitely lavishly overstated.
 The kind that only exist in movies, who are given the run of the school, can interrupt anything at any time with no consequences, can even ignore classes that they consider irrelevant and nevertheless the faculty all love them. Movies are weird, yo.
 Aren’t emotionless robots, not aren’t people. It’s not that kind of movie.