Tag Archives: terrifying monsters

The Terror: A Novel

After the relative disappointment of Olympos and what I’ve been told about others of his sequels, I was a little bit nervous about grabbing a new Dan Simmons book. But after glancing at The Terror closely enough to see it had no room for a sequel and liking the cover, I snagged it and sat on it for a while. When I finally started it, well, I’m pretty happy with these results.

The Terror refers to a couple of things. Primarily, the Terror was one of two ships on John Franklin’s expedition to discover the Arctic Northwest Passage, between Canada and the North Pole; as the book opens, these two ships have been trapped in solid ice for over a year, victims of unfortunate navigation choices and a failed summer thaw. The Terror also refers to a creature that is stalking the trapped men. It is massive, seemingly unstoppable and every bit as dangerous as the weather and dwindling supplies. Like I said, I was a little bit nervous about the book, and so I may have been more critical than usual. One scene near the middle of the book seemed a touch over the top, and I was a little bit antsy about the conclusion, but I got over it. On the whole, extremely solid book.

Additionally, it spoke to me pretty strongly, because I have myself experienced some fraction of a percent of what those men did, and as the prolonged cold started to take its real toll on them, I was pulled in more and more. But then, just at the end, real creepiness struck, above and beyond both scary monsters and punishing climates. Turns out, all this stuff really happened.[1] It’s one thing to be reading a book, watching people die one by one, wondering who of the characters might have a chance and who not. It’s quite another to learn that all of the results were set in stone before Simmons’ pen was ever set to paper, and to look at a picture of the last mission report, pulled out of a frozen cairn years after it was put there, their doom written in the margins of the only paper they could find.

I am not sure, but I think that may have made it better for me than it already was. I will, for certain sure, carry it with me longer.

[1] Not, y’know, all of it.

The Cave

The important thing is, I’m back in the groove. Well, and that there’s a lot of stuff coming out over the next couple of months, now that the summer dry season is over. I am disappointed to realize that no matter how good I think Flightplan is going to be, it cannot possibly stand up to the sheer artistry that is its preview. Still, though. Also coming soon, Venom and The Fog (not to be confused with The Mist, by Stephen King; I can tell, because I did for nearly half the preview) and The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Not to mention the couple that I missed. My point here is to say that, although slasher movies haven’t quite resurged, the horror movie is back. Hooray!

Oh, right, also I watched one last night. The Cave is the story of… well, you see, there’s this hole in the ground, under an old Templar church, with rock formations and underground dwelling creatures, and an underground river to boot. It’s sort of… well, I suppose the best way to describe would be that it’s a cave.

And, yeah, the plot is every bit as straightforward as the title. People die in approximately the order and number that you’d expect them to, after having seen the entire cast introduction sequence. (In fact, at one point I thought the wrong person was about to die, and I was aggravated at them for ruining the formula pointlessly. But, no, they came through.) The biggest flaw[1] was that rather than let the killer monsters just be random killer monsters, they attempted to explain the cause behind the random killer monsters, but then just left the cause dangling instead of doing anything particularly interesting with it.

Well, no, the biggest flaw was PG-13 rather than R. There’s something altogether off-putting about seeing a bikini rather than boobies or hearing ‘motherf-‘ rather than motherfucker in this kind of movie, and just so that the distributors can trick themselves into believing it will sell more tickets this way. Schlock cinema, even in the midst of its resurgence, is basically dead.[2] Woe.

[1] No. Being a formulaic horror movie does not qualify as a flaw. Shut up.
[2] I blame the homogenization of the movie theater landscape, combined with how the theaters are beholden to the movie studios, in a way that they were not just twenty years ago. The death of the drive-in is not a cause, but it is certainly another effect of this same cause. As usual, anytime massive success in a sector leads in the slightest amount toward monopolization, the niche suffers. Luckily, I can still go into a Fry’s and find such brilliant titles as Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker! But without any kind of advertising or preview budget, most of these movies languish unwatched in direct-to-video limbo, simply because they are completely unheard of. So… you’re welcome? I’ll keep doing my job, anyway.